In our first look at the idea of Zen Stripping, we discussed things you can do right now to focus on making more money at the club.  Today, we are going to talk about altering the way you view your past experiences and future expectations to help you always remain positive in the present. 

Your Past is a Wall

Being completely present in whatever it is you do can lead to great achievements, quality work, creativity, and success.  But the ability to focus entirely on a certain moment in time can be difficult, especially when memories of past short-comings, failures, and disappointments come to mind.  Our mind is constantly drawing up these memories to protect us from future let-downs.  However, this is one of the most limiting frames of mind you can let yourself fall into.

Thoughts of the past can be very detrimental to our self-esteem and present happiness.  Knowing that we are not getting any younger and remembering lost loved ones or opportunities can lead to sadness and ultimately an underlying stress in our everyday lives.  If you are constantly living in the past and are comparing to what you have right now, you will find it almost impossible to find happiness in the present.

Limiting yourself to what you have experienced in the past to what you are trying to accomplish today can lead you to a state of not being able to move forward.  In order to forge ahead, you have to dismiss past experiences, and believe that what you are trying to accomplish is totally within your grasp, despite past outcomes.  Once you believe it is possible, you then must go ahead and take action to make it happen.

When you fully believe something is possible, you begin to create an environment around you that enables you to meet your goals.  You begin to alter your own life situation so much that it becomes an inevitable outcome of what you are working towards.  You know that if you take these certain actions now, the goal is ultimately at hand.  That’s why it is so important to not let your past experiences hold you back from achieving what you want today.

This way of thinking forces you to take focus and action on what is crucial right now.  You begin the journey to what you want and only draw on your previous experiences for what will truly help you achieve what you desire.  Drawing on your strengths from past experience, you begin to build new strengths that help you maintain your drive and focus.  And knowing that others have been able to achieve what you so strongly desire, only gives you more confidence that you too can accomplish the same.  Don’t let the past hold you back because of past failures.  Use the past to draw on what works and what you have already done to forge even farther ahead.

Future Thoughts as Stress

Thoughts about the future hold mystery and the potential for much joy and happiness.  But when you want something so bad and think about how far away it is or that you don’t have what you want right now, you begin to feel despair at the realization that it isn’t possible at this moment.

Planning for the future is prudent and good for you when you understand what you must do right now to make those goals achievable for you.  But if you spend time working towards a goad and the end result doesn’t seem any closer, you can feel a great sense spinning your wheels and going no-where.  The important thing is to use goals as motivation to act now, not to become so strongly attached to them that you are miserable when they are not here right now.

Back in the Now

Talking about how you should perceive your past and future is really about how you view the present.  You can take your past and future views to draw strengths and motivation.  But viewing the past and future as compared to what you have right now is a sure way to be unhappy when you realize it isn’t “reality.”

Most of the time thoughts about the future and past lead to being distracted from what’s truly important right now.  Thinking about anything besides the present usually leads to an inability to really enjoy the moment and holds you back from succeeding at the job in front of you.

If you want to sell more dances at the club, you must be fully present when talking to that customer.  If you want an amazing stage presence, you can’t be thinking of past mis-steps or if you look bad in your costume.  You must focus entirely on delivering a great show and everything that you must be doing to pull it off.  Eliminate all thoughts that are not associated with what’s going on RIGHT NOW.

Putting it all Together

Focusing on the present and the experience it is providing you allows for you to grow as a human being.  Facing a difficult challenge is hard, but if you immediately think it’s not possible because of past experiences, you are dead in the water.  You will face challenges like this all of your life.  Being present in your life has the bonus of providing flexibility.  You have choices when something difficult comes your way.  You can run from it, ignore it, or embrace it and take parts of the experience away to build on other experiences from your past.  This is how you you achieve success and ultimately grow as a person.

Understanding that when you eliminate limiting beliefs from your past, stop attaching your happiness to things you want in the future but don’t have right now, and nurture your abilities and determination on what is important today, you are completely free.  You are free from the stress of past and future, and you have the chance to focus and really enjoy what you are doing right now in the present.

Josh & Chandra

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One with Now

During our time working, we often can get distracted by conversation, the music around us, by something that happened the other day, or maybe by a bill that is coming due shortly.  Whatever it is, we lose focus for a minute or maybe hours, and our productivity decreases.  This happens in all areas of life, not just at work.  But, have you ever had a time in your life where you just lose track of time, where everything else that is stressfull or on your mind just fades away?  When we have our best nights at work, that is what happens to us.  Everything just clicks, because we are completely present to what’s going on.  This may start to sound like some psycho babble, but stick with us a bit longer here.

Maybe you’ve tried multi-tasking chores around the house, or even at other jobs you’ve had in the past.  While it seems you are accomplishing many things in a short amount of time, you are not focused on any one particular thing.  This leads to distraction, and the quality of your work possibly (more likely probably) suffers.  You may miss small things or details, or completely forget to do a step in the process.  Giving your full attention to any activity or process tends to lead to successful completion of what you are doing.  Dancing isn’t any different.

When you step out of the dressing room, whether it is to go on stage or sell dances to a customer, distractions of what’s going on in your life or drama with somebody else can easily interfere with your work.  It’s happened to all of us many times.  Maybe you just had an arguement with a loved one or you have a sick child at home.  Those things are important to all of us, but while you are at work there isn’t much you can do about it.  Giving complete focus to what you are doing keeps you from missing an important step when dealing with a customer, or missing that step when you are getting off stage (and consequently tumbling off on your face in front of everyone).

When you are having a good night at your work, time seems to go quickly and you might wish there was more time left in the night to do more.  When you are having an amazing night at work, you completely forget time and don’t know it’s over until the lights come up.  You are one with your environment and it has your complete attention.  Giving your complete attention to the present includes eliminating thoughts about the past and the future, which is going to be a totally separate post in the very near future.  Eliminating those two aspects, can literally change your life, that’s why it’s important enough to garner it’s own topic space.

But, back to being one in the present, you might be asking yourself “How do I go about doing it?”  That’s an important question and we’re going to tell you how you can begin.  The first thing to do is eliminate all physical distractions.  Television, cell phones, computers, and even other people are great examples of physical distractions that you will need to get rid of to start the focusing process.

The next thing to do is stop mental distractions from happening.  Mental distractions are the times your mind wanders and jumps from thought to thought.  When you are trying to focus on a task at hand, these types of mental daydreams or distractions can be devastating to performance.  The key here is to have total awareness of the situation and realize what’s happening when you mind begins to wander.  However, once you begin to understand the times your mind is getting off course, then you will begin to truly focus on whatever task is at hand.

How does all this relate to dancing exactly?  Put away the cell phone.  Forget the drama with other dancers.  Truly focus on the conversation and sales process with each and every customer.  Listen to what they’re saying, not what’s on the television behind the bar.  You’ll find yourself selling a ton more dances in the process when you start doing these things on a regular basis.  Be present in the moment and what you desire will become more achievable.

Josh & Chandra

Present and Accounted for

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When a rude female customer, or even group of them, is in the club, it can be EXTREMELY difficult to not walk over and lay one across the side of her head with your 7″ heel, but you need to realize that won’t win you any more private dances.  Customers already know they are being rediculous, and they didn’t come to see you blow up on a girl patron.  The male customers came to see you and all the other dancers that are working that night.  So, carry on as business as usual as far as making your money.

However, DO say something to your bouncers and to the manager on duty.  Do NOT scream at them for letting it go on.  They might be oblivious to what’s going on (we know it’s hard to believe but not everyone is a master at observing what’s REALLY going on at the front lines).  Rather, let them know that the rude female customers are making it very hard for you AND the other girls to do your jobs, and that it is potentially causing the club to lose money as well.  When they hear it phrased in that fashion, they should take a stronger interest in taking care of the problem at hand and either tell the female custies to settle down or escort them out of the club.

After you’ve told the staff of the problem, go back to work.  You need to have some of the thickest skin around to even be in this business, and letting a couple or even a few rude customers, regardless of gender, ruin what could have potentially been a great night is unforgivable.  Continue doing what you are supposed to do and that’s sell dances.  Customers pay for expensive drinks and door fees just to be around you and to have fun with the strippers, not witness a brawl that should be televised on some low life reality show.  Be the bigger person overall, it makes you look soo much more appealing to the real customers, and they might buy more dances from you to help them escape the drama on the floor. 

Female customers that are out of control need to be handled the same way you should be handling ANY negative influence in your life.  Find a way to eliminate it as quickly as possible.  Going over to the girl customers yourself will yield very little except for name calling, screaming, and possibly a fight.  You’ll get in trouble with management, and the real customers there won’t find you any more attractive then you were before the confrontation, more then likely they’ll stay away from you.  INSTEAD, go to the club staff that will rectify the situation ASAP.  Never add to a problem, just do what it takes to solve it immediately.

In the end though, we realize there are clubs that let things like this go on all the time.  If the club staff where you work does not help your situation out and make it the best work environment for you and the other dancers on a consistent basis, you probably should be looking for a different club to be working at anyway.  If you would like to learn more on how to bank every night at work, regardless of the problems that may arise, check out our new e-book package that will teach you how to confront and tackle any issue in the club and still walk home with wads of cash.  You can learn more HERE.

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All of the selling strategies I and my closest friends use, I go into detail in our e-books “How to Make More Money in the Gentlemen’s Club V2.0″ and our newest one “The Successful Stripper.”  You should never walk up to a customer and ask “Do you wanna dance?”, ESPECIALLY when it is slow.  You have the perfect opportunity on slow nights to turn a couple customers into your nite’s paycheck.  If you would like to learn more on how you can learn to bring home bank on even the slowest of night’s, check out our new package e-book deal.  You get both of our dancer e-books plus our dieting e-book for only $19.97.  A great and small investment considering the return you will get when you begin applying all the techniques found in our products.  To read more, visit here.  To order, click here.

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First, there’s two words in the phrase “Successful Stripper.”  The first one is “successful.”  What makes someone a success?  Like we mentioned above, is it having lots of material things?  Or is it something different?  That’s something everyone has to determine for themselves, but we can tell you what it means to us.  Someone who is a success has mastered or accomplished something.  The things a stripper can accomplish are numerous, but some of the more difficult things to master is making a lot of money on a consistent basis, finding balance between work and their personal life, and staying focused on why they go to work and what they are there to do when they get there.  This criteria doesn’t necessarily apply to just exotic dancers, those qualities are great to have no matter what profession you are in.  There are several things that could fall into the category of being successful, but in the stripping business, it can be very easy to be led astray.  Staying the course in itself could be considered being successful for a dancer. 

The other part of the term we are looking at is the word “Stripper.”  We look at this point specifically because we wanted to make the note that you are a stripper at work.  It is NOT what defines you outside of work, although some parts of society may try and classify you otherwise.  Keep your integrity outside of work by being yourself.  Don’t do things outside of work because some of your co-workers are doing it, or because you think you are less then the average person because of your occupation.  You are a person.  The stigma of being a dancer can be very unfair, but that doesn’t mean you should conform to what others would expect of a stripper outside of work.  You don’t need to dress provacative if you aren’t comfortable doing so.  You don’t have to go out and party every night.  And you certainly don’t have to hang out with other co=workers on your nights off.  If you are into theatre, music, cooking, or any other hobbies that others wouldn’t think a dancer would be normally interested in, get out there and do those things that make you happy.  Never let someone else’s opinion stop you from being happy or achieving what you dream of.  You are not what you do for a living.  You are who and what you feel inside.  Really, a “Successful Stripper” could be simply defined as being the best you can be at WORK, and leaving that aspect of your life at the door as soon as the night is over.

What defines a “Successful Stripper” to you?  Post up and share with us what your thoughts are in the comment section below.  Also, if you are looking to be the BEST you can be at work, we’ve written an e-book called “The Successful Stripper” that outlines what really defines a successful exotic dancer and what you do to be one yourself.  To learn more, click here.

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The first is something many people, not just the girls in the dressing room  but the wait staff also, seem to have a tough time doing.  It’s leaving the drama at the door when you walk into the club.  If you have to work with somebody you dislike or have had problems in the past with, the best thing you can do is go about your business as if they don’t exist.  Getting into confrontations with others never leads to pleasant outcomes.  SO WHY DO IT?  Even if you have to deal directly with that person for business reasons, paying for your dance tickets, drinks, etc., just be pleasant to them and smile (NOT SMIRK) and leave it at that.  If they say anything crass, pretend you didn’t hear them and go back to work.

The second thing is stay positive.  This relates to if someone is saying something negative about work, their life, or even about you.  Remember YOU control your destiny and your happiness.  And that fact alone is something that should keep you positive and happy about life.  Also, keep in mind when you’re on the floor that a customer saying they don’t want a dance from you is not them saying there is something wrong with you.  It’s just them saying you haven’t convinced them they should buy from you.  Observe and evaluate everything that is going on in the club when you’re at work.  Be a people watcher of sorts, and you will learn a lot about how you can take advantage of people’s wants and desires.  Learn to read people better then you can now.  When you are in a sort of “learning” mode (studying people is something we consider of the learning nature), you will notice you keep your mind off of the negatives in life.  Another way to look at it is you are preoccupying your mind with something besides what’s been weighing on you.  It’s not avoidance, it’s staying positive and having an evolving outlook on life.

Keep in mind that you control almost every aspect of your life.  Whether it’s pertaining to what you wear, how you look, and how you are perceived by others.  The one the thing you must also remember is that you can control what you think of yourself and how you feel.  Make the most out of what you have, and it will most likely turn into something better then what you had.

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The purpose of this post is to help you learn how to develop regulars to help you boost your earnings over the long haul.  First off, realize that every customer you sit down and start building rapport with in the club has the potential to eventually turn into a regular.  Do not EVER rule someone out from their appearance or what they initially spend on you.  Building a close customer relationship will take time and more then a few repeat visits on their part.  And once they start coming back to visit just you or are asking for your work schedule, you can then begin to term them your “regular.”

Having a customer turn into a regular isn’t something you will be able to force happen.  You should treat every one who comes into the club the same.  Kill them with personal attention and focus on their little details.  Remembering a customer’s name, a little story they have, or something they wore on a previous visit will make them feel like they are special.  And they all are to some degree as the more personal attention you can provide each one, the more comfortable they will be spending money on you.  So remember some facet of a customer, no matter how small it is.  It’s personal to them and they’ll think there was something special about themselves that they stood out from the crowd to you.  Use this basic human trait to your advantage, it pays off.

Like all customers on initial meetings, show small signs of intimacy with them; such as touching their arm or leg, sitting on their lap (if allowed in the club) or sitting down for a drink with them (in moderation).  Focus the conversation on them, turning it back to them when the focus comes onto you.  The more people talk about themselves to someone, the more they feel a bond to that person.  It should be your priority to quickly build these types of bonds with customers, and to remember some of the important details.  This is called building rapport, and you need to be doing it with every customer you can.

On a customer’s second and third visits with you, you should have built quite a sufficient amount of trust with them, and you can test the waters with asking to get private dances on a much longer and/or frequent basis.  When you are met with Zero objections, you likely have yourself a new “regular.”  It’s not difficult to cultivate regulars, but it does take a certain amount of skill and grace to gain their initial trust to build those bonds.  With practice, you should be able to sweet talk most guys into buying a few dances from you during the night.  Make the most of this time spent with them!  Every minute you spend with them taking their money, make them feel like they are the most important person in the room.  They won’t forget their experience and in a way it can be addictive to them.  This leads us to our final point about developing regulars.

Keep regulars at the club just that, REGULARS AT THE CLUB.  At some point, your regulars will likely ask you for your phone number, how they can reach you, if you’re single, etc, etc.  How you handle this is crucial in maintaining the dancer/customer relationship.  First off, do NOT give out your phone number.  Not only is it considered solicitation in many cities or states, but alot of personal info can be gathered from your phone number.  Like your real name, address, and past criminal history.  Instead provide them with an e-mail address, MySpace profile just for dancing/work, or give them your username on Twitter.  If you aren’t familiar with Twitter, it is a great service to send out updates about what you are doing to everyone who “follows” you on the service.  You can let people know your work schedule, if you’re sick and won’t be at work, or if you’re birthday is coming up.  It also keeps all of your personal information completely PRIVATE!  Also, if the customer gives you their number or business card, graciously accept the gesture.  In situations like this, you can decide to call them on slow nights to come in.  However, be sure and BLOCK your number when you call or all of the precautions you previously took will have been in vain.

As far what you tell them about your personal relationship status, it is our opinion that you should be honest if you are married or in a serious relationship.  If you are single, however, it is best to let them know up front that you don’t date or meet customers outside of work for whatever reason or excuse you can come up with.  Your personal safety, the club forbids it, or you have an overly busy lifestyle that currently doesn’t allow for you to socialize OUTSIDE of work.  We hope you get the idea.

If a regular begins to get “clingy” or a bit possessive over you, it might be time to cool it off a degree by letting them know this is your job in a polite and graceful manner.  And that if they want more of your time, they’ll need to compensate you for it or the club manager will become angry with you.  All in all, it will boil down to how tactful you are with them in this stage, as to whether they will remain a good regular or the relationship has fallen apart to the point of being unsalvageable.  One way to aviod this scenario altogether is to not let the customer think you want anything to do with them outside of work.  Focus the conversations you have between you two on time spent in the club.  It’s not always possible to keep their mind from wandering from “what if” outside of the club, but if you don’t put the idea in their head, you’ll be that much farther ahead in the long run.

You can find other great money making ideas like this in our new e-book The Successful Stripper, on sale now and available for immediate download after purchase.  We’ve created a 37 page book jam packed with info on how you too can become a top earning Successful Stripper.  You can read more about our new e-book here.

Also, as an added bonus for new readers, we are including a free copy of our original e-book “How to Make More Money in the Gentlemen’s Club” with the purchase of The Successful Stripper.  You will be provided a link to download our 40+ page guide on how you too can learn the ways to banking in any Gentlemen’s club around the world.  And you receive it for Free with your paid download of The Successful Stripper.

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Selling dances to customers involves a great deal of convincing sometimes; but before you even start trying to convince the customer of anything, let’s check and see if YOU are convinced of everything.  First off, you really do have to believe in what you are doing.  If you don’t want to be at work, feel guilty, or are there just for a good time, you don’t have what it takes and you do NOT believe in what you do. 

Next, you need to believe in yourself in a variety of ways.  If you are constantly asking questions like “Am I too fat?” or “Am I too old?” then you probably don’t have what it takes to confidently go ask a stranger for their money.

The other way you need to believe in yourself is your abilities.  As the old high school gym motto goes, “If you think you can’t, you’re right!”  As corny as it seems, it is filled with truth.  You do need to fully believe in your capabilities and what you can accomplish.  You must realize you CAN do whatever you set your mind too.  It likely will not happen overnight, but with practice and perseverence, you do have the opportunity to achieve success.

Ultimately, self confidence – belief in yourself and what you do – is what determines where you end up in life.  Don’t think you’ll amount to much or think you’re not worth much?  If you do, you will sabotage your own future to fulfill you’re current outlook of yourself.  But if you think you are worth a million bucks, you’ll start dressing like it and figuring out exactly how you can be worth a million dollars.  Confidence is key. 

You can find other great money making ideas like this in our new e-book The Successful Stripper, on sale now and available for immediate download after purchase.  We’ve created a 37 page book jam packed with info on how you too can become a top earning Successful Stripper.  You can read more about our new e-book here.

Also, as an added bonus for new readers, we are including a free copy of our original e-book “How to Make More Money in the Gentlemen’s Club” with the purchase of The Successful Stripper.  You will be provided a link to download our 40+ page guide on how you too can learn the ways to banking in any Gentlemen’s club around the world.  And you receive it for Free with your paid download of The Successful Stripper.

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The Successful Stripper e-book is now complete and available for download.  And what exactly will you find when you download our new how-to guide?  Well, we’ll tell you right now.

When we set out to write this completely new and original informative manual, we wanted it to represent the ultimate source for transforming any average exotic dancer into one of the elite in this business.  We believe we’ve accomplished that by providing you with 16 characteristics that ALL Successful Strippers possess and why you should also.  We also created and included the Successful Strippers Toolkit; a set of guides to dramatically boost your sales ability even with the toughest strip club patrons.  This part of the e-book is invaluable in regards to the sales training you will receive and how it will prepare you to effectively handle any given situation in the sales process at work.  And finally, we’ve included a continuing section of how to manage your income and put your money to work for you.  We’ve tied everything together, so in the end after reading The Successful Stripper, you too will be on the road to creating your own Success!

And as an added bonus to our new readers, if you purchase The Successful Stripper e-book, you will also receive a free copy of our first e-book, “How to Make More Money in the Gentlemen’s Club.”  This is a limited time offer and is our Holiday gift to all of our faithful followers.  We hope you enjoy them both and would like to encourage you to leave your feedback on how our e-books have benefited you at work.  Enjoy!

Please note: this offer has expired.

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