In our first look at the idea of Zen Stripping, we discussed things you can do right now to focus on making more money at the club.  Today, we are going to talk about altering the way you view your past experiences and future expectations to help you always remain positive in the present. 

Your Past is a Wall

Being completely present in whatever it is you do can lead to great achievements, quality work, creativity, and success.  But the ability to focus entirely on a certain moment in time can be difficult, especially when memories of past short-comings, failures, and disappointments come to mind.  Our mind is constantly drawing up these memories to protect us from future let-downs.  However, this is one of the most limiting frames of mind you can let yourself fall into.

Thoughts of the past can be very detrimental to our self-esteem and present happiness.  Knowing that we are not getting any younger and remembering lost loved ones or opportunities can lead to sadness and ultimately an underlying stress in our everyday lives.  If you are constantly living in the past and are comparing to what you have right now, you will find it almost impossible to find happiness in the present.

Limiting yourself to what you have experienced in the past to what you are trying to accomplish today can lead you to a state of not being able to move forward.  In order to forge ahead, you have to dismiss past experiences, and believe that what you are trying to accomplish is totally within your grasp, despite past outcomes.  Once you believe it is possible, you then must go ahead and take action to make it happen.

When you fully believe something is possible, you begin to create an environment around you that enables you to meet your goals.  You begin to alter your own life situation so much that it becomes an inevitable outcome of what you are working towards.  You know that if you take these certain actions now, the goal is ultimately at hand.  That’s why it is so important to not let your past experiences hold you back from achieving what you want today.

This way of thinking forces you to take focus and action on what is crucial right now.  You begin the journey to what you want and only draw on your previous experiences for what will truly help you achieve what you desire.  Drawing on your strengths from past experience, you begin to build new strengths that help you maintain your drive and focus.  And knowing that others have been able to achieve what you so strongly desire, only gives you more confidence that you too can accomplish the same.  Don’t let the past hold you back because of past failures.  Use the past to draw on what works and what you have already done to forge even farther ahead.

Future Thoughts as Stress

Thoughts about the future hold mystery and the potential for much joy and happiness.  But when you want something so bad and think about how far away it is or that you don’t have what you want right now, you begin to feel despair at the realization that it isn’t possible at this moment.

Planning for the future is prudent and good for you when you understand what you must do right now to make those goals achievable for you.  But if you spend time working towards a goad and the end result doesn’t seem any closer, you can feel a great sense spinning your wheels and going no-where.  The important thing is to use goals as motivation to act now, not to become so strongly attached to them that you are miserable when they are not here right now.

Back in the Now

Talking about how you should perceive your past and future is really about how you view the present.  You can take your past and future views to draw strengths and motivation.  But viewing the past and future as compared to what you have right now is a sure way to be unhappy when you realize it isn’t “reality.”

Most of the time thoughts about the future and past lead to being distracted from what’s truly important right now.  Thinking about anything besides the present usually leads to an inability to really enjoy the moment and holds you back from succeeding at the job in front of you.

If you want to sell more dances at the club, you must be fully present when talking to that customer.  If you want an amazing stage presence, you can’t be thinking of past mis-steps or if you look bad in your costume.  You must focus entirely on delivering a great show and everything that you must be doing to pull it off.  Eliminate all thoughts that are not associated with what’s going on RIGHT NOW.

Putting it all Together

Focusing on the present and the experience it is providing you allows for you to grow as a human being.  Facing a difficult challenge is hard, but if you immediately think it’s not possible because of past experiences, you are dead in the water.  You will face challenges like this all of your life.  Being present in your life has the bonus of providing flexibility.  You have choices when something difficult comes your way.  You can run from it, ignore it, or embrace it and take parts of the experience away to build on other experiences from your past.  This is how you you achieve success and ultimately grow as a person.

Understanding that when you eliminate limiting beliefs from your past, stop attaching your happiness to things you want in the future but don’t have right now, and nurture your abilities and determination on what is important today, you are completely free.  You are free from the stress of past and future, and you have the chance to focus and really enjoy what you are doing right now in the present.

Josh & Chandra

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This post was guest blogged by Jenna J.  She has been an Exotic Dancer for eight months now and has learned alot already in her short time in this business.  She is working while also pursuing her masters degree in English.  We are thankful to have her join on as a contributer to our site

I’ve been dancing for eight months, and I feel like every week I learn something new, whether it’s a new dance technique or a new way to interact with customers. 
 
Dancing is an experience, to say the least.  There are many people who have nothing but negative things to say about dancing, but I strongly believe that you can make dancing a positive experience.  In my opinion, it’s all about self-control, confidence, and determination. 
 
As an entertainer, you will encounter various types of people and situations.  You have to have the confidence, determination, and self-control to stay out of negative situations. 
 
For instance, more than likely when you start working at a club you will experience some tension and slight resistance from the other dancers.  Don’t let this discourage you from dancing.  Women come and go in this business.  I have learned that it is normal for dancers to work at different clubs.  Many dancers travel.  Others may feel that they are not making good money at a particular club and move on to another one.  Therefore, the “tenured” dancers, if you will, are accustomed to this and are wary when new dancers come to their club. 
 
You have to gain their trust.  Simply be yourself.  Don’t gossip about anybody you meet.  Some may test you.  Others may freely talk about other dancers.  Take it all with a grain of salt.  Don’t blab what you heard.  Stay out of the drama.  If the dancers see you are there to make your money in a professional, legal way and not involve yourself in drama, then they will respect you.
 
And that’s another key point when it comes to dancing.  YOU ARE THERE TO MAKE MONEY.  Dancing is a job.  Don’t make it your lifestyle.  Come to work to simply work.  Don’t get caught up in the drama because it can hurt you emotionally and financially.
 
Another key aspect to being a successful entertainer is having confidence.  Being new to the business, there have been numerous occasions where I have let my fears and low self-esteem seep through.  Believe it or not customers can pick up on your insecurities.  You have to show your customers that you strongly believe in yourself and value yourself.  You don’t have to be conceited to show customers you have confidence.  I have seen several girls walk around the club with a big head.  This is very unattractive to men (and women).  I strongly believe in being classy when I am at work.  Trust me, you can still present yourself as a strong-minded, confident classy lady without being stuck up and trashy.
 
The last and most important key aspect to dancing is having self-control.  I live by this motto: Dancing is a job, not a lifestyle.  I say this because I have met other dancers who believe dancing is their life.  Wrong attitude!  Never forget who you are as a woman.  Remember you will encounter various situations (i.e. drugs, sexual solicitation, arguments with other dancers).  You need to be able to control yourself and not get involved in any situations that may be damaging to yourself or job.  Don’t get sloppy drunk at work.  Limit your alcohol intake.  Sure, a couple drinks is okay, but getting wasted at work is unattractive to customers and you could lose your job. 
 
You need to ensure that you have your own personal code of ethics and standards, and don’t bend or break your own rules.
 
Perfect example: I never give my number out to a customer when I am at work.  I had to learn the hard way that this is a very big mistake.  My second week of dancing I gave a customer my phone number (just to be nice and make a sale) and he ended up waiting for me outside of the club and tried to follow me home.  This was a rude awakening for me and taught me to be more careful when I am at work. 
 
It’s also important to maintain your standards because at the end of the night you want to feel good about yourself.  I always say I’d rather go home with the least amount of money and my self-worth then to go home with a lot of money and lose my self-worth. 
 
Dancing can be a positive experience for you.  You just need to ensure that you are aware of your surroundings and the people in your environment.  You need to establish what your personal standards and code of ethics are and stick to them.  Never lose yourself or forget who you are as a person.  Don’t get caught up in the mix.

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