In our first look at the idea of Zen Stripping, we discussed things you can do right now to focus on making more money at the club.  Today, we are going to talk about altering the way you view your past experiences and future expectations to help you always remain positive in the present. 

Your Past is a Wall

Being completely present in whatever it is you do can lead to great achievements, quality work, creativity, and success.  But the ability to focus entirely on a certain moment in time can be difficult, especially when memories of past short-comings, failures, and disappointments come to mind.  Our mind is constantly drawing up these memories to protect us from future let-downs.  However, this is one of the most limiting frames of mind you can let yourself fall into.

Thoughts of the past can be very detrimental to our self-esteem and present happiness.  Knowing that we are not getting any younger and remembering lost loved ones or opportunities can lead to sadness and ultimately an underlying stress in our everyday lives.  If you are constantly living in the past and are comparing to what you have right now, you will find it almost impossible to find happiness in the present.

Limiting yourself to what you have experienced in the past to what you are trying to accomplish today can lead you to a state of not being able to move forward.  In order to forge ahead, you have to dismiss past experiences, and believe that what you are trying to accomplish is totally within your grasp, despite past outcomes.  Once you believe it is possible, you then must go ahead and take action to make it happen.

When you fully believe something is possible, you begin to create an environment around you that enables you to meet your goals.  You begin to alter your own life situation so much that it becomes an inevitable outcome of what you are working towards.  You know that if you take these certain actions now, the goal is ultimately at hand.  That’s why it is so important to not let your past experiences hold you back from achieving what you want today.

This way of thinking forces you to take focus and action on what is crucial right now.  You begin the journey to what you want and only draw on your previous experiences for what will truly help you achieve what you desire.  Drawing on your strengths from past experience, you begin to build new strengths that help you maintain your drive and focus.  And knowing that others have been able to achieve what you so strongly desire, only gives you more confidence that you too can accomplish the same.  Don’t let the past hold you back because of past failures.  Use the past to draw on what works and what you have already done to forge even farther ahead.

Future Thoughts as Stress

Thoughts about the future hold mystery and the potential for much joy and happiness.  But when you want something so bad and think about how far away it is or that you don’t have what you want right now, you begin to feel despair at the realization that it isn’t possible at this moment.

Planning for the future is prudent and good for you when you understand what you must do right now to make those goals achievable for you.  But if you spend time working towards a goad and the end result doesn’t seem any closer, you can feel a great sense spinning your wheels and going no-where.  The important thing is to use goals as motivation to act now, not to become so strongly attached to them that you are miserable when they are not here right now.

Back in the Now

Talking about how you should perceive your past and future is really about how you view the present.  You can take your past and future views to draw strengths and motivation.  But viewing the past and future as compared to what you have right now is a sure way to be unhappy when you realize it isn’t “reality.”

Most of the time thoughts about the future and past lead to being distracted from what’s truly important right now.  Thinking about anything besides the present usually leads to an inability to really enjoy the moment and holds you back from succeeding at the job in front of you.

If you want to sell more dances at the club, you must be fully present when talking to that customer.  If you want an amazing stage presence, you can’t be thinking of past mis-steps or if you look bad in your costume.  You must focus entirely on delivering a great show and everything that you must be doing to pull it off.  Eliminate all thoughts that are not associated with what’s going on RIGHT NOW.

Putting it all Together

Focusing on the present and the experience it is providing you allows for you to grow as a human being.  Facing a difficult challenge is hard, but if you immediately think it’s not possible because of past experiences, you are dead in the water.  You will face challenges like this all of your life.  Being present in your life has the bonus of providing flexibility.  You have choices when something difficult comes your way.  You can run from it, ignore it, or embrace it and take parts of the experience away to build on other experiences from your past.  This is how you you achieve success and ultimately grow as a person.

Understanding that when you eliminate limiting beliefs from your past, stop attaching your happiness to things you want in the future but don’t have right now, and nurture your abilities and determination on what is important today, you are completely free.  You are free from the stress of past and future, and you have the chance to focus and really enjoy what you are doing right now in the present.

Josh & Chandra

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One with Now

During our time working, we often can get distracted by conversation, the music around us, by something that happened the other day, or maybe by a bill that is coming due shortly.  Whatever it is, we lose focus for a minute or maybe hours, and our productivity decreases.  This happens in all areas of life, not just at work.  But, have you ever had a time in your life where you just lose track of time, where everything else that is stressfull or on your mind just fades away?  When we have our best nights at work, that is what happens to us.  Everything just clicks, because we are completely present to what’s going on.  This may start to sound like some psycho babble, but stick with us a bit longer here.

Maybe you’ve tried multi-tasking chores around the house, or even at other jobs you’ve had in the past.  While it seems you are accomplishing many things in a short amount of time, you are not focused on any one particular thing.  This leads to distraction, and the quality of your work possibly (more likely probably) suffers.  You may miss small things or details, or completely forget to do a step in the process.  Giving your full attention to any activity or process tends to lead to successful completion of what you are doing.  Dancing isn’t any different.

When you step out of the dressing room, whether it is to go on stage or sell dances to a customer, distractions of what’s going on in your life or drama with somebody else can easily interfere with your work.  It’s happened to all of us many times.  Maybe you just had an arguement with a loved one or you have a sick child at home.  Those things are important to all of us, but while you are at work there isn’t much you can do about it.  Giving complete focus to what you are doing keeps you from missing an important step when dealing with a customer, or missing that step when you are getting off stage (and consequently tumbling off on your face in front of everyone).

When you are having a good night at your work, time seems to go quickly and you might wish there was more time left in the night to do more.  When you are having an amazing night at work, you completely forget time and don’t know it’s over until the lights come up.  You are one with your environment and it has your complete attention.  Giving your complete attention to the present includes eliminating thoughts about the past and the future, which is going to be a totally separate post in the very near future.  Eliminating those two aspects, can literally change your life, that’s why it’s important enough to garner it’s own topic space.

But, back to being one in the present, you might be asking yourself “How do I go about doing it?”  That’s an important question and we’re going to tell you how you can begin.  The first thing to do is eliminate all physical distractions.  Television, cell phones, computers, and even other people are great examples of physical distractions that you will need to get rid of to start the focusing process.

The next thing to do is stop mental distractions from happening.  Mental distractions are the times your mind wanders and jumps from thought to thought.  When you are trying to focus on a task at hand, these types of mental daydreams or distractions can be devastating to performance.  The key here is to have total awareness of the situation and realize what’s happening when you mind begins to wander.  However, once you begin to understand the times your mind is getting off course, then you will begin to truly focus on whatever task is at hand.

How does all this relate to dancing exactly?  Put away the cell phone.  Forget the drama with other dancers.  Truly focus on the conversation and sales process with each and every customer.  Listen to what they’re saying, not what’s on the television behind the bar.  You’ll find yourself selling a ton more dances in the process when you start doing these things on a regular basis.  Be present in the moment and what you desire will become more achievable.

Josh & Chandra

Present and Accounted for

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First, there’s two words in the phrase “Successful Stripper.”  The first one is “successful.”  What makes someone a success?  Like we mentioned above, is it having lots of material things?  Or is it something different?  That’s something everyone has to determine for themselves, but we can tell you what it means to us.  Someone who is a success has mastered or accomplished something.  The things a stripper can accomplish are numerous, but some of the more difficult things to master is making a lot of money on a consistent basis, finding balance between work and their personal life, and staying focused on why they go to work and what they are there to do when they get there.  This criteria doesn’t necessarily apply to just exotic dancers, those qualities are great to have no matter what profession you are in.  There are several things that could fall into the category of being successful, but in the stripping business, it can be very easy to be led astray.  Staying the course in itself could be considered being successful for a dancer. 

The other part of the term we are looking at is the word “Stripper.”  We look at this point specifically because we wanted to make the note that you are a stripper at work.  It is NOT what defines you outside of work, although some parts of society may try and classify you otherwise.  Keep your integrity outside of work by being yourself.  Don’t do things outside of work because some of your co-workers are doing it, or because you think you are less then the average person because of your occupation.  You are a person.  The stigma of being a dancer can be very unfair, but that doesn’t mean you should conform to what others would expect of a stripper outside of work.  You don’t need to dress provacative if you aren’t comfortable doing so.  You don’t have to go out and party every night.  And you certainly don’t have to hang out with other co=workers on your nights off.  If you are into theatre, music, cooking, or any other hobbies that others wouldn’t think a dancer would be normally interested in, get out there and do those things that make you happy.  Never let someone else’s opinion stop you from being happy or achieving what you dream of.  You are not what you do for a living.  You are who and what you feel inside.  Really, a “Successful Stripper” could be simply defined as being the best you can be at WORK, and leaving that aspect of your life at the door as soon as the night is over.

What defines a “Successful Stripper” to you?  Post up and share with us what your thoughts are in the comment section below.  Also, if you are looking to be the BEST you can be at work, we’ve written an e-book called “The Successful Stripper” that outlines what really defines a successful exotic dancer and what you do to be one yourself.  To learn more, click here.

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10.  Excerpt from “How to Make Money at the Gentlemen’s Club” – Part 3 -

Yesterday we took a look at a bit of Chapter 6 in section 2 titled, “How to Lead the Customer to a Sale”.   Today we look at a portion of Chapter 1 Section 3, “Saving Your Money”.

Do you find that you are short money all the time even though you go home with lots of it every night after work?  Do you struggle to pay your bills on time because you don’t have enough saved at the time?  If so you are not alone in this country.  Most households in America struggle to keep up with their obligations.  They either borrow too much or they have a serious problem saving what they make.  This section will cover how you can learn to save at least some of what you make.  To Read More Click Here…

9.   How to Get Started in Exotic Dancing -

There are MANY things you will need and must prepare for before beginning a career in exotic dancing.  The first at foremost thing to consider is if this is what you want to do for a career choice.  It can be a very expensive one for you, if you do not take into consideration what goes into dancing.  Dancers clothes and shoes are not cheap, and if you do not buy good quality items, you will be replacing them more often then you should.  But before we go more in depth in that area, stop by a local club or two that you’ve heard good things about, and see what takes place there.  To Read More Click Here…

8.  The single biggest thing standing between you and success in Stripping is… -

Do you ever wonder what stands in the way of you and success at work.  There are other girls at work that make it seem so easy and get tons of dances with customers.  They consistantly go home with large sums of cash all the time.  What’s stopping you from going home everynite with buckets of money?  The answer is YOU.

At the end of the day, you are the only thing standing between you and success.  Success and winning is an attitudeSuccess isn’t measured in money, power, or cars.  Success is a  frame of mind, so much that if you think about this scenario you’ll understand why.  To Read More Click Here…

7.  Exotic Dancer E-BOOKS! -

JoshAndChandra.com now has two e-book resources for helping Exotic Dancers in their profession.  Our first e-book is titled “How to Make More Money in the Gentlemen’s Club” and the second one is titled the “The Successful Stripper.”  Both e-books cover completely different material as far as how to make money approach customers, be a top earner, and ultimately how to manage your incomeNow for the first time ever, you can own both of these e-books for the price of one!

When you order “The Successful Stripper,” you will also receive a free copy of “How to Make More Money in the Gentlemen’s Club.” To Read More Click Here…

6.  Excert From Our Hot Selling E-Book “How to Make Money at the Gentlemen’s Club!” – Part 1

This week only, we are running brief excerts from our E-Book titled “How to Make Money at the Gentlemen’s Club.”  Also this week we will be offering the for only $19.97, a savings of over $30 from the full retail price.  Thi offer ends Saturday, April 19 at midnite.  If you like what you read, please consider ordering the entire book as it is packed full of knowledge that can benefit the dancer just starting or the 10 year vet looking to make even more bank.  But enough of that, here’s a brief portion of chapter 3, “Reasons Customers Choose Certain Girls”

1.   Attraction. Attraction comes from many factors. Skin color, Hair color, hair length, Height, Weight, Clothing. About as many factors that are unchangeable at any given moment, there are those things that are changeable. What you wear, how you do your hair, makeup, and how you smell, are all things that influence those around you and are things you decide on.  To Read More Click Here…

5.  One of the Biggest Money Makers for Any Dancer, Including You -

Paging thru a recent magazine, I was reminded of a great sales technique that fits in perfectly with the dancing profession.  It’s something that anyone from the Veteran dancer to the girl who just tried on her first pair of stilleto’s can incorporate.  And unlike a new costume or a new fragrance, it won’t cost you a dime.  Here’s what it is.

First, think about what all the great money makers in this profession have posessed that you’ve ever come into contact with.  If you’re coming up blank, I’ll help you out.  To Read More Click Here…

4.  Making Money as an Exotic Dancer During a Recession -

Times are tough out there right now for everyone.  The stock markets in the toilet, unemployment is the highest it’s been in years, and there are less customers walking thru the doors of the clubs.  But that doesn’t mean there still isn’t money to be made being a dancer.  Our ebook “How to Make More Money at the Gentlemen’s Club” is just what you need to boost your earning potential even during tough times.  Click the link to read more and start making what you never thought was possible. 

3.  Top 10 Mistakes All Strippers Make -

There are certain things all dancers do wrong, whether it is only one from this list or many, it can impact how much you make a nite, or over the course of the week.  If you can eliminate all of these things on this list, you will be ahead of your peers, and will be on your way to making more money.

1.  Thinking every girl is going to be your friend.  In this business you learn that the only person you can trust 100% is yourself.  If everyone thinks you are ignorant and trusting, they will take advantage of you and take everything they can from you.  To Read More Click Here…

2.  5 Habits of Highly Successful Exotic Dancers -

Here are 5 qualities that are ALL shared by successful dancers.  If you can incorporate these habits into your lifestyle and work ethic, you will be joining the elite of the elite.  Your income will increase dramatically.  And your perspective about life itself will change.  It will take a bit of work to integrate these traits into your life but you will be well rewarded by doing so.

1.  Be Proactive!  Being proactive is one of two responses to any given situation.  You can be proactive or reactive.   To Read More Click Here…

And the #1 post is:

How to Be a Successful Stripper or Exotic Dancer

With this first post we are going to analyze what it takes to not only just be an exotic dancer but a very successful one at that.  There are many things that aren’t apparant for most when they start in this business and many girls who have been dancing for years still are missing out on making even more money by not fully looking at all the elements it takes to be the best they can be.  We are going to cover everything we can, day by day, because this isn’t something learned in one sitting.  It takes practice, patience, studying (others) and learning from someone who’s successfully mastered this business for years.  To Read More Click Here…

And that’s the top 10 most viewed posts on JoshAndChandra.com for 2008.  We hope you have learned a lot from our site and hope you have been equally profitable from doing so.  We wish you prosperous 2009 and hope you continue to visit us for even more knowledge on how you can be the Elite Dancer we know you can be!

Josh & Chandra

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Now when I saw diet, I’m not talking about something you follow for two weeks then you can resume your daily ritual of McDonalds and Reese’s peanut butter cups, if you are so inclined.  I’m talking about what your dietary intake needs to be EVERYDAY.  For a VERY, VERY Long Time.  And your first tip is to NOT drink any soda.  That means no Coca-cola, pepsi, sprite, 7-UP, or any other type of sugary carbonated beverage, even if you are a drinker, which I’ll talk about shortly.  Get it on the rocks, or with water, if you feel you must have a drink for whatever reasoning it is you give yourself.  I’ve known girls who’ll down a six pack of coke a night.  I wonder if they ever realized they just put 270 grams of sugar in their body which equates to 1080 calories that’s going to be turned straight into fat.  I never really felt sorry for them then, and I sure don’t now either.

Rule number 2.  NO FAST FOOD.  I don’t care if it’s a salad from wherever, it’s still more then likely garbage.  Plan ahead and make or bring your own food.  A nice bonus of making your own is you will save a bundle on cash in the process.  But that’s not the exact topic on hand.  Now if you’re wondering what foods you can eat, I’ll help you figure it out right now.

First healthy fresh foods.  I’m also a certified personal trainer and have hundreds of people change their physique in literally a couple weeks, just by modifying their diet.  It will never replace exercise, but sometimes people have to get in shape, just so they can get into shape.  These healthy foods include chicken (not fried), fatty fish like salmon, nuts like macadamian and walnuts, egg whites, brown rice, brocolli, fruits when eaten strictly in the morning, and sweet potatoes.  There’s a huge list of more obviously but you can get an idea and a feel for where we’re headed here.  Notice you didn’t see any Snickers bars, or potato chips listed.  For more info on healthy eating and exercise, visit our friends over at http://www.cityfitclub.com.  You will find a wealth of info on how to live a much healthier lifestyle and feel better in the process.

Next onto the exercise part.  If you are one of the ambitious people in life, and I hope you are, and you make it to the gym on at least a semi regular basis, there are a couple things you need to remember.  30 minutes of cardio at a moderate clip is a complete waste of your time.  I’m not going to get into the details of this as you can do a little research yourself, BUT if you are going to put in the effort to be there, UNDERSTAND you must do AT LEAST 45 minutes of cardio to have any effect on the fat burning process.  But that’s not all either.  You have to make sure your heart rate stays in the 140 beats per minute area to optimize the time you are putting into this process of burning off excess fat.  Those two things are MUST DO’s if you are serious about losing weight.  They are something I’ve taught for years and had so much success with clients for so very long.  It will work for you too.

Finally, Drink more water then you think you possibly can handle.  Honestly, while being at work and all the energy you spend on other activities during your day, you need to be drinking a minimum of one half gallon of water a day.  That’s 64 oz.  You need to be drinking more then that.  And if I hear one peep about “oh I’ll be bloated and hold so much water then!” I swear I’ll go postal on you.  FYI, water is actually a mild diuretic and the more you drink, the more your body will actually expel.  So drink plenty of it.  It’s good for you.

If you have a hard time getting motivated to exercise or eat healthy, just think to yourself everytime you eat some junk “oops, there goes that extra $100 I would have made tonite, if I wouldn’t have just cowed out on that bag of Fritos and bean dip”.  Ok, so you don’t need to do exactly that, but you do need to learn how to motivate you.  Nobody else will.

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1.  In our ebook, “Make Real Money at the Gentlemen’s Club” we cover many things that help you influence every customers buying decisions.  A couple reasons why a customer will initially show interest in you is physical attraction.  While this is a no brainer, you better realize what you put into your body is going to directly reflect how you appear to your clientele.  If you pig out on junk food and candy, I guarantee you’re not going to have the figure of the same girl like you that doesn’t do that.  Also going to the gym or jogging/running on your own isn’t going to hurt anything either.  Better your appearance, which is completely within your control, and you will influence some people’s buying decisions.

Another thing that will influence the customer is your personality/attitude.  If you sit there and complain about how business has been horrible and that you can’t pay your bills, you may get a few pity dollars, but you aren’t going to bank like when you are confident and devoting your full attention to the customer, making them feel like the most important person in the club.  That’s when you can begin making serious money again.

2.  Ask the customer for their time, not their money.  The old going up to every customer and asking if they would like a dance is a sure way to go home with chicken feed when you could be going home with a purse full of cash.  It’s too easy for them to say no to you.  Now if you take the time to sit with a customer for a few minutes and get to know them, build a little rapport, and make them feel like you are genuinely interested in them, you now have your foot inside the door to their wallet.  You have a much greater chance of getting Jeff, or Rick or Tom, to hand over a little of their hard earned cash then the complete stranger sitting over at table 6.

3.  If you work in a smaller club with fewer clientele, you can still bank.  You actually have an advantage over the mega clubs in some aspects that you can actually sit down with a customer and get to know them better then feeling like you have to work a large room where it seems impossible to get to know anyone.  The more intimately you can establish a relationship with a customer in the club, the more he will be willing to spend on you in the couch room or VIP room.  It only takes about 2 of these customers a night, along with the others you would normally get from the stage and random offers for couch dances, to make going to work worth while.  And if you only get one a night, that’s still alot better then not finding one at all.  This race isn’t one in one shot.  It’s a marathon and you have to get out their every chance you can to make it over the long haul.

There are a hundred different things you can do to improve your earning potential while you are at work.  Sometimes the answers to your problems are obvious.  Sometimes they aren’t so clear.  We cover a multitude of different scenarios and solutions in our ebook on how to make more from exotic dancing.  It’s worth every penny considering how much you can potentially make in a single night at work.  Good luck, and remember you need to succeed where so many others are continously failinng.  This is how you persevere during the tough times and make it to see the good times again.

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Spending 100% of what you make.  Many people, not just strippers, do this every single day.  And it’s not entirely their fault.  People do it to feel good about themselves, to compete with the neighbors, to have things they don’t need but feel they really want.  This is a sure road to the poor house.  And it doesn’t matter if you make $1000 a month or $100,000 a month.  If you spend it all and save nothing, you are no farther ahead no matter how much you make.  You’ll always be broke, but you’ll look good doing it.

Now, if you want to be the complete opposite, spend as little as you possible can, on your housing expense, on your phone bill, and your food.  If you have a car payment, pay it off sooner then you have allowed for.  If you make $5000 a month, which is the minimum you should be making as a dancer and if you aren’t check out our ebook to find out how to make more, and your monthly expenses require $1800, SAVE the $3200!  You heard me talk about the magic of compounding when you invest your money, but you have no idea how it really compounds with even more in there.  While the actual percentages stay the same, the dollar amounts grow enormously.  If you can save like this, even for 1 year, as a starting base, I promise you retirement is going to look a helluva lot better the nearer it comes then if you only put 10% away for the entire time.

If you have a nice car that works fine, trust me you don’t need the biggest, newest, or fastest car on the lot.  You don’t need to show up to work wearing the most expensive brand names, and you don’t need to have the newest cell phone every 2 months.  Trust me, in 10 years when your current friends are wondering what the hell to do with their lives because they never planned ahead, and can no longer dance because age and life have caught up with them, you could be doing what you want without concern for where your next paycheck or meal ticket is going to be coming from.  Don’t make the mistakes almost everyone in this country does.  Save as much as you can now.  You will never regret doing it.

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Larger breasts will not ALWAYS boost everyone’s self confidence.  I’m taking a guess here out of the hundreds of girls I’ve known over the years, there have been a couple instances where enhancement surgery hasn’t left the girl feeling that much better about herself.  Those girls maybe expected something different from the surgery, how they looked, felt, etc, but overall those couple instances the girls had regretted getting them done.  And it’s not that they were a botched job, I worked with both of them and they were nicely done, the girls just didn’t get what they were expecting I guess.

You will NOT make a ton more money.  Most girls do make more then before their surgery, but this may also come from self confidence they have in themselves, and they may feel more attractive.  But the money isn’t going to just falling in your lap.  It doesn’t work that way for anyone.  Ask some of the girls if they have doubled or even tripled what they used to make before their enhancements.  I’m sure almost all will say they make more, but it won’t be outrageously more.  And the others will at least make the same as they did before surgery.

Surgery isn’t fun, and there is a decent chance that they won’t turn out how you expected them to be.  Remember this, everyone has a different shape to their breast.  And just because you are having yours “done” don’t think that you are suddenly going to acquire Pamela Anderson’s breasts.  They are going to be your own, ONLY LARGER.  If your’s face out, are a bit pointed, or you don’t like your nipples, breast implants aren’t going to change those things.  They will do the same thing, only on a larger scale.

Finally, and this is a good point, it does give girls a boost in self confidence for the overwhelming majority of women who decide to have them done.  If you are extremely self-conscience about yours, perhaps you are a mother, and they’re not quite where they used to be, surgery is likely a good possibility for you.  But if you are the type of person who just wishes they looked a little different, but are mostly happy with them (meaning they are there, and you can work with what you were given) I recommend to go with staying natural.  The extra expense, time off from work, the possibility of breaking or popping an implant, and the fact that many have to be replaced after 10 years, are great reasons why not everyone should get them.  But if you feel like you MUST have them, one word of advice.  Don’t go bigger then you need to.  Huge breasts won’t make you tons more money.  In fact you’ll just be more the center of attention outside of the club, instead of in it.  Most men in strip clubs have certain tastes, but many are looking for the total package.  That is girls who are very well proportioned, with a great personality to go with it.  That’s what sells dances, and that’s what will make you money.

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There is a lot of psychological factors that are always occurring in a strip club.  Both from the dancers point of view as well as the customers.  Customers are there for visual stimulation.  What you wear can either complement you, or make you look completely unappealing.  Also, if you aren’t comfortable wearing what you have on, either how it looks or how it feels, it will impact your self confidence and it will show.  But if you follow a few simple guidelines, you will be happier and making more money with what you choose to wear.

1.  Try it on!  Before you ever spend your hard earned money on outfits for work, make sure you are trying it on first.  If you like it but try it on and it doesn’t fit in all the right and important places, pass on it.  You may be able to get away with wearing something too big or even a bit too small going out in public on an off day, but at work it makes all the difference in the world.  Customers want their fantasy to be perfect, and you should try to achieve that ideal as closely as you can.  If it’s within your capabilities, you should be doing it.

2.  The clothes should complement you, not vice versa!  You should choose clothes that fit with your hair and skin color.  If you are lighter skinned, Brighter clothes will keep you from looking washed out so much.  If you are darker skinned and have dark hair, darker colors will bring out your skin tone more and will have a darker sexier appearance on you.  If you are of african-american descent, you can wear most colors, including bright ones, but stay away from black or brown.  You specifically will want something that stands out on you, just make sure you like it and it fits your body style.  As far as shoes go, boots should be worn by more toned girls.  Unfortunately, boots can give the appearance of your legs being perceived as much thicker then they actually are and can work against you, even if they are the coolest thing you’ve ever seen.  Shoes should coordinate with your outfit, and if you are just starting out you should have 2 pair of dance heels.  One all black pair and one clear pair.  These two pairs of shoes will be able to be worn with anything you buy, if one won’t work, the other pair will.  Also, if you are just starting in dancing, buy a pair you can comfortably walk in.  There is nothing worse then seeing a girl struggling to get through the night in a pair of 7″ stilleto’s she is having trouble walking in.

3.  Your clothes should work with you, not against you!  Finally, if you are able to do some great pole tricks, or even crazy floor work, your clothes should be such that they do not get in your way or the customers.  They shouldn’t be constantly getting caught or tangled on something.  You should strive for elegance and grace when you move around the club.  Having to stop a dance because you are hooked on something takes the sexiness away from the customer and will cost you any further dances if he is turned off by your outfits tendency to get in the way of you giving him your full attention.

These few simple reminders are easy to remember, and should be taken into consideration when you’re buying or getting ready to pull something out of your dance bag.  Everything you do will affect your money making potential at work.  Do your best to capitalize on everything you can to bring home more!

Do you have some fashion do’s and don’t's? Speak up and let us know!

Josh and Chandra

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Speak with management at one of the clubs you visited and asked how you can book in to work there.  Tell them you are new to dancing, DON’T LIE!  They will spot it in a second no matter how much you prepare.  If they want you to come in for an audition, ask what you need to bring.  They SHOULD say a pair of heels and at least a thong and probably an outfit to dance on stage.  If they say they just want you audition in a back room or office, more then likely they just want to sleep with you and you should NEVER put yourself in that position or situation.  Read people and their intentions.  Not everyone in this business is above bar and many leave much to be desired.

If you get an audition, you will need to get a few things in order.  Shoes, Clothes, and your “look.”   If you are new to heels, you should stick to a shorter pair, something in the 3″ high range.  If you have been wearing heels for years, you can start with 5″ heels.  Leave the 7″ and 9″ stilletto’s to the professionals for now, they are not easy for anyone.  As far as color goes, clear or black shoes are best as they will go with nearly all outfits you will choose to wear, with the clear ones being our personal recommendation to start with.  Next, find a pair and TRY THEM ON FIRST.  Make sure they are at least somewhat comfortable, because you will be spending alot of time in them for the next few months, likely 10 hours a day, 5 to 6 days a week.  Your feet will get tore up, but they will break in.  It just comes with the territory.

Next is clothes.  Stay away from lingerie.  It looks amateurish and also tacky.  If you do not have a Dancer Boutique or are not able to buy something off the internet, go to a favorite department store and find a bikini you like.  Solid colors are good, or a cool print works, but something totally out there should be saved for other uses.  You will Need a couple thongs, regardless of what you choose for an outfit.   Ebay does work in a pinch.  Just make sure the seller is reputable and read all their feedback before committing any hard earned money.  You won’t be able to try it on first, but you will occasionally find very good deals there.

 A couple hints on clothes for dancers, brighter colors look better on fairer skinned and lighter hair colored individuals, while darker clothes go better with darker skinned or tanned girls with dark hair.  Animal prints should be avoided.  Leg wraps are ok if you have toned legs, but realize they will possibly make your legs appear a little thicker.

A final note on clothes and shoes, LOCK YOUR STUFF UP in the areas provided to the dancers.  Girls will steal your stuff.  This isn’t a typical business and others can be very cut throat.  Don’t borrow your clothes out to other girls until you have gotten to know them very well.   Don’t trust anyone to give you great advice.  Trust your instincts on people, if they seem shady, they more then likely are.

Onto makeup.  Too much make up will look trashy.  Not enough may show blemishes.  Use enough that you cover up any trouble spots, but focus mostly on your eyes.  Dark seductive eyes are sexy and alluring.  Looking like you are ready for halloween is not sexy.    Fake eyelashes are a wonderful thing if you are lacking in that department and are not terribly expensive.  Black lights and the combination of the darkly lit atmosphere will hide many imperfections,  so again there is no need to go overboard on the makeup front.

Your hair should be clean and smell nice.  It should be dry.  Stay away from hair sprays.  Use gels or intensifying mousse’s.  Pick a hair style that won’t prohibit you from working.  Anything too fancy that may come undone will cut into your working time and will hurt what you make.  Simple is sometimes better.  And usually sexier!

Choosing music to dance to at first can be daunting.  Choose something you are completely comfortable with and can dance to.  Don’t worry about dancing or moving to every beat of the song.  You are dancing seductively, not like you are at a nite club.  Skipping a beat or two and moving slowly is far more attractive from an exotic dancer perspective then watching you up there looking like you are have convulsions on stage.  Make sure the song has a good beat and is not depressing.  Don’t put your crowd in a bad mood, put them in a good mood by playing positive music.  Music choices are up to you, whether you are a rocker, rapper, or a country girl.  Just remember that the music you play will set your mood and the audiences.

 Finally, remember why you are there.  TO MAKE MONEY.  But realize why the customers are there.  TO REALIZE A FANTASY.  They aren’t there to get laid.  They aren’t there to just get drunk.  They want the fantasy of a beautiful woman catering to their desire or dreams.  They want someone to listen to them occasionally.  They want to feel desirable, like they are the only ones there that matter.  They want to feel like the most important man in the room.  Fulfilling this desire or fantasy will lead you to a purse full of cash at the end of the nite.  You are NOT there to sell yourself as other dancers may lead you to believe.  That is where they go wrong and become jaded about the whole dancing experience.  Realizing you are selling a fantasy from the start will start you down the path to a very successful dancing career.

On a closing note, keep all the money you make on you or very near you AT ALL TIMES.  Girls or even customers have been know to help themselves to dancers purses or bags.  Always get paid first before doing any couch or private dances.  Don’t let a dead beat waste your time, and they will try if you let them.  You are there to work and make money.  Don’t waste your efforts on these types.  Always freshen up between sets.  Keep everything simple from the start and don’t make it more complicated then it is.  You will worry about less, and you will be able to focus more attention on making money, as you should be always trying to do. 

Now go make your dreams a reality.

josh and chandra

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